Me. At least after what I've been through.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
