a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
how does that bad decision feel?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
