Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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