So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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