gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
