so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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