arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
