I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
