i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
