are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
