If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
kristin has been a bad kristin
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
