Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
