You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize