We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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