I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
