it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
