that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
