I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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