wanna go halves on a baby?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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