come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
