i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
