You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
