I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
