The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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