my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
