i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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