I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
