toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
His nipple licking is glorious
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