so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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