Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
