If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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