ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
