You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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