I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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