Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
