I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
