a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
