i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
