the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
