Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
