Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
