The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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