I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just gargled with NyQuil
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
