Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
