It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize