I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Soap is not a condiment
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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