Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
