Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
