Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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