Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
