Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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