Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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