Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
