What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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