kristin has been a bad kristin
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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