You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
