Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
