so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
