So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
