Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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