before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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