4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
