After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
