How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
