the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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