Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
