11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
