people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
that's an acceptable place to lick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
