You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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