He is such a slut. More and more my type.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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