Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
