had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
